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Roasted Nut Rant of the Week

September 14, 2009
Crazy Aunt Bloom giving you the Queen's Wave!

Crazy Aunt Bloom giving you, Dear Readers, the Queen's Wave!

First of all, I’d like to introduce all of you, Dear Readers, to Crazy Aunt Bloom.  *Crazy Aunt Bloom beams radiantly and works her queenly wave toward your general direction.*  I pinky promise, I did try to stop her…but Crazy Aunt Bloom feels we all need to know her opinion about the Kanye West/Taylor Swift debacle.  (There’s a reason why we call her “Crazy” Aunt Bloom. )  She feels the fact that Kanye is kookier than that rhyming preacher from Obama’s inauguration ceremony goes without saying; and we all know that Crank, Cocktails, and Crazy don’t mix without combustion.  That brings us to the convulsion on stage at the 2009 MTV VMA awards.  ;o)  And haven’t we heard it all, you may ask?

Crazy Aunt Bloom would proffer that while she understands that young girls and poise do not often congeal into the same Taylor Swift Salad (as evidenced by the deer-in-headlights stricken stare, and the inability to recover from something that would have only taken a regal, “Oh, I love Beyonce too!” to bridge the gap to good sense), but good manners are always in style!  However rarely used manners are in today’s world, wouldn’t it have been lovely to see Miss Not -So-Swift recover from the earlier escapade with a generous “thank you” to Beyonce who graciously gave up her stage time to Miss Not-So?  For her lack of poise, grace, or manners, Crazy Aunt Bloom dubs Taylor Swift worthy of the first roasted nut rant on Fruits of the Bloom.

Here’s what I say:  You can’t pick your relatives, especially the crazy ones.  So remember, Dear Readers, as you go through your text-twitter-facebook-email-cell-phone-filled day, a little please and thank you, and a pardon me!, can go a long way toward making the world a more beautiful place.   Crazy Aunt Bloom waves deliriously and says, “Y’all come back now, ya hear, and in the meantime go look at all them pretty bows at Fruits of the Bloom!  Then buy a few, and get yourself some free blooms like I did!  Did I forget to say please?  Purdy pweez with Blooms on top, go look…you’ll be glad ya did!”

8 Comments leave one →
  1. Joseph Michael permalink
    September 16, 2009 11:26 am

    I love Aunt Bloom she’s right there is no idea of proper manners today.
    My wife also loves the bows you make, an order is coming soon esp with
    the gift season approaching.

    • September 16, 2009 1:54 pm

      Thanks Joseph Michael! We love our Crazy Aunt Bloom too, it’s one of those making lemonade from lemons situations. I’m sure you have family like that too, don’t we all? ;o) Tell your wife to remember that we do custom bows, and if she needs a color we don’t have displayed in our shop, she should convo us and we’d be happy to assist!

  2. Lola C. permalink
    September 16, 2009 11:41 am

    The not so crazy Aunt Bloom is hilarious. She says exactly what we all think. Thank
    goodness for the Aunt Bloom’s of the world to say what needs to be said. More
    roasted nut rants from Aunt Bloom please!!!!!!!

    • September 16, 2009 2:01 pm

      Hi Lola C., are you perchance an Aunt too? *giggles* Yes, I agree, sometimes Crazy Aunt Bloom has a point–manners are so neglected these days! Crazy Aunt Bloom is a tough old southern bird, so she has no problem speaking her mind…expect to see her more often!

  3. Kronk permalink
    September 16, 2009 10:32 pm

    Kanye was the real manner issue. I just think Taylor was overwhelmed by it all.

    • September 16, 2009 10:39 pm

      Dear Kronk, Crazy Aunt Bloom says, “Opinions are like butts, everybody has one–mine is just the biggest and the best.” Crazy Aunt Bloom is feeling a lil’ slighted because Kronk didn’t notice that she acknowledged that Kanye is crazy, and yes, ill-mannered. She just feels that Miss Not-S0-Swift could’ve said thank you, ma’am, to Beyonce. Good point for all to remember. ;o) Thanks for sharing your butt, um opinion, you’re welcome back anytime!

  4. Karen Torres permalink
    September 17, 2009 11:43 am

    So sorry I came late to this party, but I love Aunt Bloom also. I have some relatives I’d like to trade for her…

    I do agree with her about manners being rare…lets introduce them to the social media revolution!

    I think that when people feel beautiful, they act beautiful, so maybe your bows and flowers can transform the world, one beautiful child at a time…

    • September 17, 2009 8:35 pm

      Dear Karen, Crazy Aunt Bloom and I are so happy that you can see our plans to take over, er…transform the world into a more beautiful place. Hair accessories are a grass-roots movement in that direction! And if we were to trade “crazy” relatives, I’d have to trade-off a case far worse than Crazy Aunt Bloom, let’s suffice it to say…the National Guard isn’t prepared to handle the crazy I’m prepared to deliver. ;o)

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